Giving Birth Wasn’t So Bad

Growing up I heard horror stories about women giving birth… yeah not exactly something I was looking forward to. Getting a surrogate sounded pretty good and even adoption was appealing, anything to escape the pain of childbirth. Watching all these birth tv shows you would see the mother in such agony, hearing the mom screaming her lungs out and of course combined with the visual of blood and goo, it didn’t exactly leave a pretty image burned into my brain. Not to mention, the fact that you could die. Oh, the horror. After seeing images and hearing sounds like these who would want to experience childbirth firsthand? Don’t all jump up at once. Childbirth seems like something that is not really talked about. I don’t know if it’s because women forget about the pain or if it’s because society claims it to be taboo but whatever the reason I think more dialogue should happen when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a child. I mean if we can become educated in high school about Sex Ed, then there should be time spent for Parental Education as well.

I am very surprised to be able to say that, giving birth wasn’t so bad. Now I’m not saying it was a walk in the park. Nor am I saying that the next one will be a piece of cake. And remember each woman is different. Which is something I heard throughout my pregnancy. I remember going for a checkup and the Nurse Practitioner was checking the baby’s heartbeat and she said, “OMG, did you feel that? Are you ok?” I honestly didn’t feel a thing. I told her I was okay and asked her why. She told me that I was having contractions. Braxton Hicks Contractions. Which is something I had no idea about preprego. It’s basically “false” labor. It’s your beautiful body’s way of preparing itself for “true” or real labor. It’s kinda crazy because you are feeling pain and you’re basically like, “Oh, this is it!”, while you’re picking up your hospital bag you so neatly prepared and set by the door in anticipation for this exact moment and getting ready to head to the hospital. But nope. The baby isn’t ready yet!!! Tease!!! The Nurse Practitioner I had to see that day told me that not all women have the same threshold for pain. With some women any little pain they feel- they can’t bare it, while other women are like keep it coming. It doesn’t mean one is weak and one is strong. It’s just what it is. And while I’m on the subject. Please, especially if you are having your first baby- get a midwife not a doctor/nurse. I started with a Nurse Practitioner and quickly changed to a Midwife. They are more loving, caring, and will take their time with you, while the Nurse was more procedural, on the clock, by the book, and was out the door saying, “Next!!!” before you can ask a question.

Go to your Lamaze classes. All of them. The information really helps, especially if you are on baby number one. I remember after the first class, thinking how boring it was and how my expectations for the class were too high (I thought it was going to be exactly like how it is on tv). I already knew the information this lady was going over in class since I was an avid reader of the Pregnancy Bible, What To Expect, When You’re Expecting. However, I stuck with it. And I’m glad I did because I learned so much and my teacher really prepared me for birth.

My Lamaze teacher talked about how giving birth started first in the mind. I remember her saying, “Some women are screaming and carrying on because they did not prepare- Did not prepare themselves mentally. It’s like okay I’m having a baby, so this is what I’m suppose to do “AAAHHHHHH””. She told us about how women have been having babies for centuries and they didn’t need any pain reliever. Really think over this. My Lamaze teacher was from the Caribbean Island and I remember her saying, “…the Western Woman is so weak, any little pain she can’t handle it and needs something to relieve the pain”. She talked about the women who would have their babies in the fields, clean themselves up, and go back to work. These are things I have never thought about and I found them to be remarkable. She was great. She taught us about the power of power-walking. Power-walking everyday helps with childbirth- I didn’t know that. Real deep breathing helps with childbirth- it’s more than “Who-who-heee-hee” like on tv. You really have to learn how to breathe. If you were or are athletic or workout this will indeed help with childbirth- I never took this into account. I guess being on the track team and hitting the gym was good for something. Staying calm and relaxed really does help with childbirth. Hubby and I made the birthing room my own. We played classical music and that really helped in keeping me calm. My room had to be quiet, doctor or not because I was somewhere else. You have to release control to some degree. Let your body do her thing. Tag you're it! Now you do your thing. PUSH!!!

The doctors and nurses could not believe I was having my first child. They kept asking me over and over, “Do you want an epidural?” “Are you sure?” “But this is your first baby.” “It’s gonna hurt.” No epidurals for me. It’s your choice but read into it before you go into labor. This should be on your to-do-list. Most of us know that getting an epidural, you will not feel the pain. However, I have spoken to moms and professionals “off the clock” about taking an epidural and they said that you don’t feel the pain because it is like your whole body is numb or paralysed. And the moms I’ve spoken to felt the contractions later after the baby was delivered. I rather have the pain while I’m giving birth then later on after the baby is born. Everyone is different and you have to find what works for you, but, so sorry, no epi for me! By the way squatting is the best position to have a baby. You will feel less pain/pressure and you will have a quicker delivery opposed to laying down or reclined in a hospital bed. Laying down in a hospital bed is actually said to be one of the worst positions when giving birth.

Leading up to the birth I did not read anything about it or watch any videos. I did not want to freak myself out. The grace of God, got me through. That Lamaze class (knowing what to expect) and having an Excellent Coach for a husband really got me through. That deep breathing and staying centered/focused really got me through. I remember a lady screaming for dare life in the room next to mine. “Would someone close my door, she’s messing me up.” I remember yelling. She was taking me off focus. So stay focused!!! Childbirth for me was nothing like how I thought it was going to be. I didn’t scream not once, hubby is my witness. I didn’t scream, I breathed. Yes there was pain but it wasn’t like the crazy things I had concocted in my mind over the years.

Things to remember:

-Learn Proper Deep Breathing

-Prenatal Exercises

-Power Walk

-Make The Birthing Room Your Own

-Find Your Focus… Concentrate

-Research about pain relievers during childbirth & the after effects.

-Watch Ricki Lake's, The Business of Being Born 

Mommies… What are some techniques that helped you while you were in labor or during childbirth?

Expectant Mommies… Feel free to leave questions in the comment box below. Experienced moms will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have!